Hello! My name is Rachel….

and I am addicted to food.  

I spent last weekend back home in the mountains as I mentioned.  What I didn’t mention is that I was there to attend my step-father’s funeral.  A man, who had he been able to break the addiction of too much, would very likely still be alive today.   While I want to honor his memory, the sad truth is food killed him.   And as I stood there in my mother’s home I had to admit….if I do not get this under control, eventually it is going to kill me too…

I am learning slowly and some days I stumble so hard I wonder if I ever will beat this…in fact I had almost come to the conclusion that it was too hard, I would always be in bondage.  “I will just be fat!” I told myself.   But the truth is this is really not about fat or skinny and it really isn’t even about the food.   It is about me, who I believe I am and who God made me to be…

Ironically when the struggle was most fierce I came across this:

Fight For Beauty, Rihanna’s Story

and this:

Do you know addiction?

which prompted me to step out of fear and write this.  This post, that I have considered writing 100 times, but I have been unable to because the pain of it is so raw, is more of a line in the sand than anything….a declaration to do the work that must be done even if the healing is slow.

Hello, my name is Rachel….and God is healing me from my addiction to food…