but I am hiding inside my head. watching my thoughts spinning around. thankful that for once no one is screaming.
we are falling into a routine. it is good but still, I am uneasy. the bios are comfortable with the change in life. the radishes are settling it appears. the outbursts are still daily but not all day. it is good but I wonder…
will they ever understand why they are here and not there? will they look at us, our skin a direct contrast to theirs and know they belong? do I smile enough, hug enough, love enough? am I enough? how do I bridge the gap between adopter and adoptee?
today I feel a bit inept. unable to take it all in…unable to process. love is scary business and there are no easy answers. and I feel a bit selfish…what if I risk it all and it all goes horribly wrong?
may His grace cover my imperfections. may His love heal their wounded hearts. may I surrender to His will so that He can work His beauty in this mess.